


Hold It High

by Miko



Series: We Shall Keep The Faith [12]
Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Foursome - F/F/M/M, Love Triangles, M/M, Multi, Open Relationships, Sexual Fantasy, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-21
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-31 13:29:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3979735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miko/pseuds/Miko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peggy's never had a female friend she can really open up to, before. Then again, friendship with Natasha would be a unique experience regardless.</p><p> </p><p>This fic should be read in sequence with the rest of the series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold It High

**Author's Note:**

> Hayley Atwell officially supports Steve & Bucky together. My life is complete, lol. https://twitter.com/HayleyAtwell/status/599790414359441408

So far Peggy had managed not to beg for an end to one of her training sessions with Natasha, but it had been a bloody close call every time. The other woman seemed to have a near-psychic ability to tell when Peggy was at the extreme limit of her stamina, and an equally strong sense of when Peggy wasn’t putting absolutely everything she had into her efforts.

Oddly enough, Peggy appreciated the relentless pushing. Or perhaps it wasn’t all that odd. She’d had to live or die based on her physical abilities more than once in the past, so Peggy well knew how vital it was that she improve as much as possible, as quickly as possible. 

Fighting styles had changed so drastically since her time she could hardly recognize them. Not all of the Avengers were trained in the advanced forms, of course, but she’d watched Steve and Natasha practice together a few times and it was a dance of deadly beauty. Peggy _wanted_ to be able to do that, or as close to it as she was capable of coming, and Natasha was helping her to achieve that goal.

But just at the moment Peggy thought she could quite cheerfully kill the woman, if only she could find the strength to do it. She always felt that way at the end of their workouts, so it was probably just as well that they left her far too exhausted to try.

“All right, I think that’s enough for today.” Natasha, damn her eyes, didn’t sound particularly winded. Though Peggy at least had the satisfaction that the other woman could no longer get through one of their sessions without breaking a sweat.

Somehow Peggy managed not to actually collapse. She’d regret it if she did, she knew she needed to walk it off to keep her heated muscles from stiffening up, but at this point her movement was more of a stagger than a walk.

“You’re doing well,” Natasha told her. She was sparing with her praise, and it meant that much more when she did give it. “You’re dedicated, and that’s the most important thing. It’s a bonus that you’re already flexible and agile, and you’ve got good upper body strength as well as lower, which is unusual for women.”

“She can do a hundred and seven one-arm pushups, you know.”

Bucky’s voice came from above, startling Peggy into looking up. Both Steve and Bucky leaned against the railing at the entranceway, dressed for their own workout. Words couldn’t describe how thrilled she was to see Bucky out of his room and engaging in a relatively social activity. “You remember that?”

To her further delight, he chuckled. He didn’t laugh nearly often enough, and it meant he was having a good day. “You kicked my ass, sweetheart, I ain’t likely to forget it.” He paused to consider that, and shrugged. “Aside from the fact that I actually did forget. You know what I mean.”

“Why, how many did you do?” Natasha asked, smirking up at the men.

“One hundred and five, and the Commandos never let him live it down,” Peggy told her with a broad smile of her own.

“Five other men started out with us and none of them made it past fifty, but somehow _I_ was the guy who lost to a dame,” Bucky grumbled. 

“I remember that,” Steve put in. Even from this distance Peggy could see the joy in his expression, equal to her own, that Bucky was responding to the discussion so well. “We had to push the next day’s mission back because you couldn’t lift your rifle.”

“Hey, I wasn’t the only one who could barely move,” Bucky protested. 

“Yes but I hadn’t been scheduled to go on that mission, so it didn’t matter,” Peggy countered. It was so encouraging to engage in the sort of light-hearted banter that had once come so naturally between them, especially between the two men. Bucky’s good days were coming more and more often now; hopefully at some point soon they’d start to outnumber the bad ones. 

“Well, the free show is over, boys,” Natasha said, handing Peggy a towel before she headed for the stairs. “If you want to see anything further, it’s going to cost you.”

“Oh yeah? How much?” Steve asked, and if Peggy hadn’t known better she’d have described his expression as a smirk. 

“A show in return, obviously,” Natasha replied. “I certainly wouldn’t mind watching you two get all sweaty together, though I think to be fair you’d have to be shirtless. It’s not quite as much of a treat just to see the tight clothing on a guy.”

Realizing what they were implying, Peggy blushed and laughed. The ridiculously tight fabrics of modern exercise wear still made her feel horribly self-conscious, but she had to admit that they did make for much easier movement. She could all too easily believe the men had been standing up there admiring the view. 

“Perhaps Natasha can stand about watching, but I’m going to lock up entirely if I don’t keep moving,” Peggy declared. Not that she would have minded taking a turn watching. Natasha might be blasé about seeing men in such form-fitting clothes, but Peggy appreciated it. She thought she could see nearly every curve and line of muscle in their bodies.

Though she certainly wouldn’t protest them going shirtless, either.

As she drew near Bucky she paused to go up on tiptoe and brush her lips against his, and he steadied her with a hand on her waist. “I’m glad to see you out and about.”

“Yeah.” There was a faint smile on his lips, and a look in his eyes that she hadn’t seen in far too long. He was happy, or at least genuinely content. “It’ll be good to be moving again. I gotta get back in shape if I’m gonna be useful to anybody any time soon.”

“Useful?” For a moment Peggy was worried that he was back to thinking of himself as a weapon, a tool to be used. 

“Steve said I could join in training with the others, if I want.” He flicked a glance at Natasha as he said it, as if he thought she might protest, but she shrugged and smiled.

“Any time,” she confirmed. “You won’t be ready for active duty for a while yet, I don’t think, but you’ll get there.”

Bucky’s smile widened, and Peggy hugged him briefly before stepping back. “By all means then, don’t let me stand in your way. Have fun, and I’ll see you at dinner.”

Steve stepped up to the console to program whatever workout he had planned, and Natasha and Peggy took their leave. “You got anything planned for the next hour?” Natasha asked as they walked. 

“Other than collapsing until my muscles stop quivering and threatening to rebel?” Peggy replied, her voice dry. “Not really, why?”

“Good. Come with me.” Natasha smiled at her, and it was obvious she was enjoying being mysterious, so Peggy let her have her fun. 

They went to the public locker rooms, which baffled Peggy a bit. Yes, they were closer than their quarters, but it wasn’t as if it was that much farther to go and Peggy preferred the privacy to wash and change. Not to mention, she didn’t have anything to change into with her.

“It’s good to see Barnes motivated,” Natasha commented as she gestured Peggy through the locker area and into the showers. “I think Steve called the timing well. He was starting to get restless, but he’s improved enough to be able to risk doing more.”

“I didn’t even realize Steve was planning to add him to the team, though in retrospect it certainly makes a great deal of sense,” Peggy admitted. She was more confused still when Natasha didn’t indicate that she should take one of the shower stalls, but rather continued into a narrow hallway Peggy had assumed led to a supply area or something similar.

“Barnes needs something to focus on, a way to move forward and feel like he’s doing something good again,” Natasha said. “You’ve got your training with me and you’re already making friends here, you’ll land on your feet sooner rather than later. But Steve’s been worried about the way Barnes was keeping himself isolated. Of course if he hadn’t wanted to join us we’d have helped him find something else, but it sounded like he was looking forward to it.”

“Pass up a chance to work with Steve again? Not likely.” Peggy followed curiously as Natasha led her through a door… and into a room lined in cedar planks, with benches at two levels along three of the walls. The temperature inside was high enough that it was like stepping into an oven. “Oh! A sauna. I didn’t even know this was here.”

“I thought you might not have found it.” Natasha shed her clothes, leaving them piled on a shelf near the door before she climbed up to one of the higher shelves and stretched out. “I might have been known to bitch in the past about the lack of a good steam room at the Triskelion. I guess whoever designed this base decided to avoid the complaining.”

Without hesitation Peggy stripped down as well. The door had been accessible only through the women’s locker room, and it was much more effective not to be covered in a sauna. The cedar plank on the lower shelf was at just the right point of not quite too hot to bear, and she sighed as she lay on her front and let her muscles relax. 

“Oh, I’ve missed this,” she murmured. “During the period we were operating out of Russia, there was a nearby village that was willing to let us use their banya in exchange for a fee. _More_ than worth the price, though I did feel bad that if I was in there, none of the rest of them could be. It was the only time any of us were warm that whole winter.”

“Well, the best part about this one is that the computer controls the heat and the steam, so we don’t have to budge,” Natasha replied. “No fir branches, but I never have enough time to spend in here to need to worry about circulation anyway. We can cool off in the showers if we need to.”

“I can’t say I ever brought myself to run out into the snow,” Peggy chuckled. “Though I’m certain the Commandos would have appreciated it if I had. Some of _them_ tried it, but sadly never Steve.”

The sound Natasha made could only be described as a snicker. “Not that you were looking, of course.”

“Is it my fault if I happened to be passing through the area?” Peggy was grinning into the curve of her elbow as she rested her head on her arms. 

She genuinely liked Natasha, and was glad they’d become close. She’d never had this experience before, a female friend who was just as trained and deadly as she was, and who therefore understood the rigors of the life Peggy had chosen. It was nice to be able to talk openly with someone for a change, and not have to hide important parts of herself and her life.

Not to anyone else would she have made that comment about wishing Steve had run naked into the snow, but given that Natasha already knew him intimately – and didn’t seem to resent being reminded that Peggy had once been his girl instead – she felt safe being just a little less discreet. 

“Of course, there was the one time Steve walked in on _me_ ,” she said. Natasha made a disbelieving sound. “He claimed that Bucky had told him to meet him there, and someone had removed the sign saying it was occupied. Bucky swore he’d done no such thing, of course, and the locals said it must have been the bath house spirit.”

“Well, banniks are certainly known for playing pranks like that,” Natasha replied. “From what I’ve heard of Barnes before he was broken, though, I wouldn’t put it past him to set something like that up.”

“He was always trying to find time for Steve and I to be together,” Peggy said, her voice softening with reminiscence and regret. Then she laughed again. “I thought Steve was going to die of embarrassment on the spot.”

“Don’t tell me he turned around and left!” Natasha leaned over the edge of her shelf to look down at Peggy, one eyebrow raised. “I had concluded he was probably a virgin before me, but with a setup like that I really hope I was wrong or I’m going to have to be very disappointed in him. Unless you’re the one who kicked him out. In which case, I’m disappointed in you.”

It was a good thing Peggy was already flushed from the heat, because her blush would have covered her whole face. “That might have been one of the times we did a bit more than kiss,” she admitted. “But I swear Hydra had spies set on us just to determine the most aggravating possible moment to launch an attack. It never failed.”

“Oh damn, you’re kidding.” Natasha snickered again. “You poor things. Must have been frustrating as Hell.”

“You’ve no idea,” Peggy said, more fervently than she’d meant to. She bit her lip as Natasha grinned knowingly, but didn’t try to retract the statement.

“You never had a chance for more, though?” Natasha seemed curious and sympathetic. “Or was he just too much the gentleman?”

“We always assumed we’d have time for it later,” Peggy replied, sighing. “Then, too, Steve was always worried about my reputation. And I think perhaps he was hoping for a bit better than a muddy field or an army cot the first time.”

“Yeah, that’s Steve. He’s a romantic through and through, and sometimes it bites him on the ass.” Natasha stretched languidly and rolled over onto her back. “I’m still shocked you guys didn’t follow through in New York, after your dance. Especially if you’d been frustrated for that long.”

“As am I,” Peggy muttered, trying not to think about the kiss they’d shared that night. Or the heated way he’d stared at her when he’d knocked afterwards and she’d had to answer the door in that scandalous robe.

It had taken every bit of self-control she possessed not to ask him to stay. She was fairly certain it had taken every ounce of _his_ famous willpower to walk away. Only clinging desperately to thoughts of Bucky, and how guilty she’d felt when she’d been unfaithful to Daniel, had allowed her to get through it.

Even that hadn’t stopped her from thinking about Steve as she pleasured herself that night, though. And more than a few times since.

“I never thought I’d turn out to be fickle,” she complained. “I always abhorred girls who flitted from one man to the next, convinced each time that this was ‘the one’.”

“Fickle? You?” Natasha was disbelieving. “Seventy years later you’re still in love with the same guy, I’m pretty sure that’s the opposite of fickle.”

“But I can never seem to _settle_ ,” Peggy admitted morosely. “First I couldn’t let go of Steve even after I married Daniel, and then I betrayed my vows to him with Bucky. And now I still can’t stop thinking about Steve!”

“If you were fickle, you’d move on to the next guy and never give the ones in the past a second thought,” Natasha said, and she reached down to touch Peggy lightly on the arm. “You’ve got the other extreme. You never _stop_ loving anyone, even when you add someone else to your heart.”

“However you wish to label it, the fact is that I’m unfaithful.” Peggy shook her head. “It’s only my great good luck that Bucky isn’t upset about my feelings for Steve, though I do wish he’d stop taking it as an indication that he should be ‘giving me back’ somehow. For that matter, if you were any other woman, you’d be scratching my eyes out every time I got near Steve.”

For a long moment Natasha was silent, and when Peggy looked up her expression was distant. “You know, from the first time the Avengers hit the ground, we’ve always looked to Steve to lead us,” she said, startling Peggy with the non sequitur. “After SHIELD fell Stark was the one who bankrolled the operation, but there was still never any doubt that Steve would be in charge.”

She paused, and Peggy remained silent, sensing she was gathering her thoughts. “It’s not just his tactical abilities, although that’s certainly a factor. It’s not even that he’s the only one we all trust enough to be willing to take orders from. He’s… he’s kind of the team’s moral compass. Some of us can’t tell right from wrong anymore, assuming we ever knew the difference in the first place. But if we’re following Steve, we can be pretty damned sure we’re heading in the right direction.”

“He’s always been good at that,” Peggy agreed. “And at inspiring people to want to live up to the example he sets.”

Natasha nodded, then raised an eyebrow at her, refocusing abruptly. “You know he still loves you, right?”

“Of course.” Peggy’s throat threatened to close, but she fought it off. It hurt to see the way he looked at her sometimes. Not because it upset her that he still cared, but because she hated to see the way that affection hurt _him_. She’d have done anything to spare him that pain – anything except cause Bucky pain instead.

“Do you think he loves me?”

“Absolutely.” Peggy was surprised the other woman would even feel the need to question it. It was written all over Steve’s face whenever he looked at her, at least when he wasn’t on duty. 

“So, how come it’s okay for him to love both of us, but you feel bad about loving both of them?”

That question threw Peggy for a moment. She understood now why Natasha had first made the point about Steve being so firmly moral. “Because he’s not acting on it, I suppose.”

“You just admitted that he wants to,” Natasha pointed out. “It nearly happened in New York. He’d snap you up in a heartbeat if it wouldn’t mean hurting Bucky, and also upsetting you because he doesn’t want to let go of me.”

That was certainly true. “Well… because you’re all right with it. He’d be horribly guilty if his feelings for me upset you.”

“Maybe, but that wouldn’t stop him from having those feelings.” Natasha shrugged. “This is why I’m glad I don’t have fidelity hangups. You all go around making yourselves feel horrible about loving someone, while at the same time proclaiming that love is the best thing that can happen to you.”

Despite everything, Peggy’s lips twitched in a smile at that. “You may have a point.” If only it were all as simple as Natasha made things out to be. 

“Of course, there is an obvious solution to the problem,” Natasha said, her voice light and teasing.

“Do tell.” Peggy would be more than happy to entertain any sort of solution, even a teasing one, if it would actually help.

“We just need to have a foursome.” Natasha’s smirk was wicked, and her eyes danced with amusement. “You and Steve can get it out of your systems, you and I get to enjoy the sight of them naked and sweaty in bed together, and I suppose to be fair we ought to put on a bit of a return show for them as well, but I certainly wouldn’t mind.”

Astonished, Peggy floundered for words. “What… all four of us at once?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Was that too much for your delicate fifties sensibilities?” Natasha’s concern and contrition were far too exaggerated to have even the tiniest grain of truth behind them.

“Please,” Peggy scoffed, getting her mental feet back under her. “I was close personal friends with Howard Stark. I’ve heard far more salacious suggestions.”

That made Natasha laugh. “Fair enough. Ever take him up on any of them?”

“Certainly not. Though not for lack of trying on his part.” Peggy had to laugh as well. The idea was amusing to contemplate, and Natasha had done a good job of breaking the increasingly heavy mood of the conversation. “You’d never get Steve to go along with it.”

“Oh, you might be surprised what I can get Steve to agree to,” Natasha fairly purred, far too smug. “He wouldn’t need much coaxing for this, though. Barnes would be the sticking point, I’d think. He’s pretty possessive of you.”

“Yes, with everyone _but_ Steve,” Peggy reminded her. “Bucky keeps trying to give me back to him because he thinks that’s the only thing that would make Steve and I happy. Never mind what it would do to him.”

“Well, you’d have to be careful that he didn’t get insecure over it, then,” Natasha said. “If the idea upsets him because he thinks it means he’s losing you to Steve, that would defeat the purpose.”

“Wait. Are you _serious_?” Peggy stared up at her, because her last comment hadn’t seemed teasing at all. 

Natasha raised an eyebrow. “Definitely. It would cause a lot more problems than it would solve if it rocks the boat between you and Barnes, especially because Steve would blame himself and feel guilty.”

“No, I mean are you serious about the suggestion?” She couldn’t truly be. Could she? Peggy felt heat sweep through her as the idea suddenly became more than playful nonsense, until the air in the sauna seemed almost cool in comparison. 

To be able to not just have each of them separately, but _together_ … dear God, the thought of it. 

She could have one of them on each side of her, perhaps, and be able to run her hands over them at the same time. Or have Steve behind her, inside her at last, while Bucky did that absolutely amazing thing with his tongue against her most intimate place – was that even physically possible?

For once she wouldn’t have to worry that being with one would mean leaving the other in the cold, because they’d be there together. She thought maybe she wouldn’t mind so much seeing Natasha with Steve, or even with Bucky, if it meant she could have them both. 

Would Bucky be reassured that she didn’t mean to leave him if she’d made it clear that she wanted him there, too? Or would seeing her with Steve in any way only make him all the more unhappy? Would he worry she was comparing him to Steve? 

For that matter, would being with Steve once actually help to ease the regret, or would it just make her all the more aware of what she was missing? Oh, but she thought it might be worth it, even so.

And was she imagining the implication behind Natasha’s words that she thought Steve and Bucky would ‘put on a show’? They’d never displayed any sign of that back when she’d known them, at least not that she’d ever noticed. They were close, yes, closer than most brothers, but not that way.

Although given how Bucky tended to get caught up in any sort of pleasure, and how he seemed to be missing any and all socially ingrained mores… well, if they came into contact while touching her Bucky probably wouldn’t object. Or hesitate to follow through. Did Natasha have reason to think Steve might not protest either?

That was not an unappealing prospect. Both of her boys, so strong and beautiful and passionate, with the contrast of Bucky’s pale skin and Steve’s tanned flesh highlighting the way their muscled bodies moved together, and she _really_ needed to stop thinking about this now or she was never going to.

Realizing she’d gotten quite lost in contemplation of it Peggy forced her attention back to the here and now. Only to find Natasha smirking at her, clearly aware of exactly where Peggy’s thoughts had been.

Once again, Peggy was grateful for the heat of the room hiding her blush. 

“It’s just a thought,” Natasha said. “Something to keep in mind. You’d definitely need Barnes to be fully on board, but if you ever manage that, the offer’s open.”

“You truly think you could get Steve to agree?” Peggy couldn’t quite believe that. Not her shy, innocent Steve, the man she was nearly certain had given her his very first kiss.

Then again, the Steve who had kissed her breathless up against a wall in New York might indeed be willing to entertain such a notion. In some ways, she was _still_ reeling from that kiss.

“I think he’d need about five seconds of convincing from me – exactly as long as it takes me to get the words ‘Peggy wants to have a foursome’ out,” Natasha chuckled. “And then probably a few minutes of convincing from you and Barnes that it won’t ruin things, granted.”

“Well, I…” Peggy literally didn’t know what to say. 

“Like I said, think about it,” Natasha repeated. She shifted onto her side and touched Peggy again, on the shoulder this time. “Think really hard. Make damn sure you’re clear with Barnes. And then think some more. I just wanted to put the idea in your head.”

“Thank you so much for that. I’m never going to get it _out_ of my head, now.” Peggy rolled her eyes. “You’re as bad as Stark ever was. Worse - he never got me to consider any of his ridiculous propositions.”

“I never met Howard, but I know Tony well,” Natasha said. “From what I hear, he and his old man were pretty similar as far as the womanizing goes. There’s one important difference between me and him.”

“And what’s that?” 

“I have no limits,” Natasha explained with a grin. “Stark has no _shame_. You ready to turn the steam on? Or are you getting overheated already? You look pretty red in the face.”

So much for thinking the heat would help to hide her blush. Natasha obviously knew full well that Peggy wasn’t overheated yet. Or at least, not that kind of overheated.

“Do your worst,” Peggy invited her, resettling herself more comfortably. As steam hissed into the room and the air grew foggy, she closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind to relax properly. Unfortunately as she’d feared, she couldn’t tear her thoughts away from Natasha’s suggestion. It was an impossible dream.

But what if it wasn’t?


End file.
